It has become pretty weird thinking about the past and the near future these days. I look back and I remember all the good times and fun I used to have, and now things do not always seem so exciting. Some days I have plans and I expect my days to be interesting, but most days I just sit around waiting for
something anything to happen. I find myself adapting to being comfortable with being on my own, but seeking an adventure. With all of the hullabaloo of passing my last classes, graduating, and finding a job, I cannot help but think about what else I could be doing with my life. I could be traveling to different countries and places I have never been. I could be helping others in less fortunate places. I could be exploring my talents in the arts. There are so many things I wish I could be doing, and yet I feel tied down to just fulfilling other people’s expectations. It is quite mind boggling how we can sometimes find it so easy to help others with things, but have the most difficulty in helping ourselves. How do I help myself get through this time? This time, where it feels like the days stay still. This time, where it seems like there is no one around. This time, where I want to just get away and do something different. People keep saying I should enjoy my time in school now because it is not any better out in the “real world,” yet the “real world” is something I long for just to break free from the routine I seem to be living while in school. If it is not any better out there, then why am I even doing any of this? I guess only time will really answer those questions for me.
Just have to be patient and experience things for myself.
Simply simplifying my hectic life because I need to reform it into something that is not spread so thin.
For someone who enjoys simplicity, life is just too complicated right now.
Exhausted from fulfilling expectations, facing assumptions, meeting unnecessary deadlines, etc.
On the real track to doing things for me, and only me.
With the new year, this is the chance at a fresh start.
- Write/Blog more
- Not let myself fall behind
- Cook more
- Not be afraid to try new things
- Stay a true individual
- Not let myself be so much affected by anything negative
- Be an inspiration and role model for others
But ultimately: Strive for a happier me.
This year I have definitely had my fair share of ups and downs. Looking back, I would not change anything. All the hardships, all the struggles, and all the days and nights wondering what I was even doing things for have helped shape me into who I am now, and I am proud of who I have become. This new year is the doorway to my future and I cannot wait to see what is in store!
Happy New Year everyone!
Enduring the pain paid off. I was strong enough to do something about it. Now things look like they are moving in a positive direction.
All I can really do is endure and hope that things will get better.
So I came to a realization today that there are very few real people that you can count on in your life and honestly the only people that really matter to me are those few. I’m pretty much done spending my time trying to entertain and please everyone else. It has grown to be too tiring and unrewarding and I have felt myself spreading myself so thin that I feel like I have become a a displeasing person to be around. So I’ve decided to go back to my roots – the people who have shown me not only that they are worth my time, but that I am also worth theirs. These are the people who are really important to me and who help bring out the real me.
Today was a good day. I am very content with how open and free my schedule is this semester. I finally have time to just spend my time actually thinking about things and not worrying about what I have to do. This schedule gives me the time I need for myself and allows me to do the things that I actually want to do.
So what did I do today?
I went to class enthusiastic to learn.
I napped peacefully.
I drove around a few places.
I spent time with friends I haven’t seen in a while.
Not much. I know. But that’s what’s nice about it. I can go back to just being simple, doing simple things. It’s too much work worrying about all of the complicated things. Just taking one step at a time and actually enjoying my time is my next step on my long journey.
I wonder what’s in store for me tomorrow?
Welp. I’m back again (and hoping to keep it that way)! I’ve been wanting to get back into writing on here, but just have been well, for lack of a better word, slacking.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little off and I just couldn’t figure out what it was. I don’t think it’s really been that I didn’t know per se, but rather I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. Instead, I always just let myself become filled with regrets. It’s funny though I also feel optimistic, like I can somehow still change what things have become. I guess you can say I’ve been feeling “stuck” in the middle of my own emotions.
That ends today.
Today, I turn my past regrets into my experiences. Nothing more, nothing less. No longer regretting the mistakes I’ve made or choices I wish I could have changed. What’s happened is done and I can just keep moving forward.
With this said, I’m giving myself some new goals/challenges!
With these, I hope I can move forward and be happy with the choices I make.
My biggest regret is rolling in regret. It is best to pick yourself up , dust yourself off and move on.